"The Tightrope Walker"

"The Tightrope Walker" by Jean-Louis Forain

Monday, June 20, 2011

It isn't that I can't, it's that I don't want to!

So, I've sort of got this thing.  Not quite a rule or a pet peeve, just at thing.  I don't like to go out in the evenings on weekdays, ESPECIALLY when JD works nights.  It isn't that I'm a hermit or a grouch, it is just that if I go out with the girls in the evening then my time for me is lost.  Gone. Over.  If we absolutely have to go out for something, like Sophie's soccer, I will do it but if it can wait until the morning, the weekend or any other time then it waits.

And, it isn't that I can't.  Why do people assume that I don't go out with my girls in the evening when JD is at work because I can't do it by myself?  Guess what folks - I do it by myself all the time.  Remarkable isn't it!  (Thick sarcasm fully intended.)  I take my daughters grocery shopping, to the library, the mall, we go to the park, splash pad and lots of other places just the three of us.  I bath them, feed them, read them stories, and put them to bed all by myself.  I tend to their dentist, doctor and optometrist appointments all by myself.  I even have been known to take a baby for vaccinations all by myself, which isn't pleasant without extra help.  So no, it isn't that I CAN'T attend your BBQ, restaurant trip, celebration, shopping excursion or whatever it is you've invited me to alone with my two children.  It is quite simply that I DON'T WANT TO.

I don't want to struggle to feed my children at your party because they are overstimulated and eating dinner late.  I don't want to wind them up with excitement and fun, keep them out late and then be rushed to bath and tuck them in because it is hours after their bedtime.  I don't want to blow our routine out of the water for something we could do on the weekend.  I don't want to lose my hour or two of quiet time by myself in the evening.  There is a fine line between keeping it all together and tipping right over the edge.  And yes letting you feed my children ice cream at 7pm will push us all over the edge.  So yes I can do it, but I just don't want to!

Feel free to invite us, but don't be offended when I decline.  My kids need a solid 12 hours of sleep, and in that 12 hours I must sleep for 8.  That leaves me with 4 hours.  You got it, that is 4 hours to do the laundry, dishes, cleaning, prep for tomorrow and have some time for myself.  Those 4 precious hours give my life a little bit of balance.  So please don't be offended when I say 'no', and then imagine (or remember) what your life was like when each day was really only 4 hours.  It isn't that I can't, it's that I just don't want to!

7 comments:

  1. Love it. I sometimes felt that way even before I had kids...

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  2. I'm with you! My girls are in bed early too. Found you via VoiceBoks and am following you along :)

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  3. Good for you! Lately I've been thinking I should do the same myself. :)

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  4. We are soul sisters in this. I never met an activity that started after five that I wanted to attend with my children. Even if my husband is going.

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  5. Thanks ladies! I thought I was being some sort of bedtime, anti-fun, scrooge. Tonight we had soccer and JD is working nights. How miserable! No one got in bed until 8, now 20 minutes later they are already asleep but not without lots of screaming....from all of us. Miserable!

    And - more annoying when other people EXPECT you to come to their thing/event/whatever and get annoyed when you say no because it is bedtime. Its not like I said 'no' because I need to wash my hair......

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  6. I think sometimes folks don't understand that we make decisions on even the little things based on what is best for our family. That is their problem though and good for you for standing your ground. I found you through VoiceBoks and am now a follower!
    Yankee Texan Mom

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  7. Yankee Texan Mom - from your lips to their ears! So true! Sadie

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