"The Tightrope Walker"

"The Tightrope Walker" by Jean-Louis Forain

Monday, June 14, 2010

30, Plus a Few Days.

Turning 30 wasn't the trauma I thought it would be. I had a lovely weekend filled with birthday treats. Family, friends, gifts, food, drinks and lots of visiting made for a good time. So, thanks to all who sent birthday wishes and celebrated with me.

Now for a reality check. I turned 30 and all my troubles came with me. Imagine that! The neigh-sayers who thought my goal was too lofty won this battle. I managed to yo-yo my weight up and down in the same 5 lb range over the last 11 weeks. I'm definitely feeling discouraged by my own lack of motivation and commitment. To add insult to injury my 4 year-old referred to my tummy as "chubby" today. Sadly not a lie or misjudgment, yet excessively irritating. Funny how the truth can be annoying. My next steps are unknown, but I'm not giving up on the overall goal to lose some weight and improve my general fitness/health. I think my biggest stumbling block is reconciling the changes I want to make with my family life. I always seem to let things related to being a mother, wife, etc become my excuses and I need to figure out how to stop using "life" as a crutch. I'm my own enabler! Twisted, I realize!

On the upside I spent some really great time with my husband. The longer we are together the more I adore him and love being with him. Not to say every day is a cake walk (because today sure wasn't). But, he makes me laugh more, our conversations get better with time, I miss him more when he's gone, I am increasingly attracted to him (which he of course enjoys, wink, wink), and I still get that butterfly feeling when he walks in to a room or gives me a quick hug. Spending my birthday weekend with him reminded me of all these great things and now I wish we had a good excuse to spend EVERY weekend alone together. Then again, I guess I would miss my girls...

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