Birthday Ingrate.

Yes, I'm saying that I am a Birthday Ingrate. Not that I don't enjoy the celebration, but I have come to HATE the gift question. "What would you like for your birthday?" Somehow it has become a loaded question. If you answer with the typical request of books, clothes, or gift certificates the gift-giver replies with a, "That's what I always get you! Don't you want anything else?"

From here there are two choices: 1) The unexpected, but still typical gift request, "Yes, I'd like a new frying pan/toaster/bed linens/etc." Which invariably leads to an item that isn't quite what you had in mind and only adds to the "stuff" being crammed into every corner of your home. 2) The honest, and just-for-you request, "Yes, I would love a romantic weekend with my husband/a day that is child free/an uninterrupted Sunday in my pajamas reading a good book/a vacation/etc." And of course this leads to a whole array of interesting responses including, "That's not really a gift!", "Aren't you asking an awful lot?", "What do you mean? You want the girls to sleepover?", "Don't you want to spend your birthday with your daughters?", and on the list goes. (A side note: Of course I want to celebrate my birthday with my daughters, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy some adult time without them.)

And, here lies the true problem. Why is the gift-receiver responsible for motivating and stimulating the gift-giver's creativity and thoughtfulness. Don't get me wrong I appreciate that my family and friends want to give me gifts that I will appreciate, but I don't know what their budget is, if they understand the value I place on spending time without the responsibilities of my children, or if they even want to make a commitment of time rather than money. Why is it that birthdays, Christmas and other special holidays always have to include a gift of "stuff"? Why don't we spend more time giving gifts of home cooked meals, time, companionship?

In making my argument I recognize that I'm being a hypocrite because I'm no different than most other gift-givers out there, but I'm thinking maybe its time for a change. Maybe instead of asking what you would like for your birthday; I'll surprise you with a homemade cake and a night on the town without your kids. Or better yet, the pleasure of my company! ;-)

So be warned, if you ask me what I would like for my upcoming birthday I might just say, "Two consecutive nights of babysitting!"