I'm feeling very positive about my 10 lb birthday goal. This isn't the first time I've attempted to tackle a little weight, but this time seems different. Feels different.
My first attempt at losing weight was in University and I was pretty successful. I lost about 17 lbs and was only about seven away from my goal when I stopped really trying. I don't really remember why I stopped; although, I have a vague memory of being excited by my new-found body. I think I was so excited and the weight came off so easily that I felt cocky, self-assured and like I didn't NEED the weight loss program I was using anymore. A mistake of course!
My next try at losing weight started very shortly after getting engaged - so typical I know. I had gained back all of my previous weight loss and reached my heaviest. I was at a point where neither my great job nor wonderful guy could make me feel positive about myself. I headed back to the well-known weight loss program again. This time I stuck it out for just over eight months and 22 lbs, but I struggled. I was two years older, and even though I was only in my mid-twenties my body didn't respond as quickly. Add to that the adult responsibilities of a "real" job, and it was harder this time to stay focused, spend time at the gym and plan my healthy eating. Then after 35 long weeks and only halfway to my end goal I found out I was pregnant. Little did I know what pregnancy, motherhood and an increasingly busy life would mean for my personal weight loss goals.
It is just over five years since I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter, and guess what? I'm just slightly over the weight I was then. I do consider this an accomplishment. Admittedly I've struggled to stay in the same 10 lb range over those five years, but to give myself credit I had a baby, left my career, returned to school, worked a variety of part-time jobs, started another career, and had another baby. Add to that being a wife and my husband switching jobs twice, and I think I've done okay. But, as of now, okay isn't good enough anymore!
What's different this time is that I value my time and in the last while I have really come to value the things I do for myself differently. I didn't realize in my early, or even mid, twenties how much time I had to be self-focused and how much choice I had about how to spend my time. Looking back I wish I had realized then what a precious commodity time is and made a concerted effort to change my habits. I think taking this knowledge forward is what makes this time different. As mothers, wives, and even adults the time we have to spend on ourselves is so limited and bounded by so many obligations that it becomes increasingly important that we spend our time on things that have meaning, that make us feel good. Having this sense of appreciation makes me feel a strong need to make "me time" worthwhile, and that's how I KNOW this time will be different. First 10 lbs, and then the whole bag of potato chips!
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