"The Tightrope Walker"

"The Tightrope Walker" by Jean-Louis Forain

Friday, March 15, 2013

Try, try, try again!

After almost a full year of NOT even visiting my blog I felt compelled to come back and read some of what I wrote.  Of course reading old posts has compelled me to write.  Looking back I can hear my motivation and desire to change, to do good, to be the best me.  All of this is very ironic as I find myself sitting at strange point in my life.  Many great things have come to me and my family over the last year, but at the same time any (or all) sense of balance I was creating has vanished.  I'm happy with my job and our changing family life; yet feeling the deepest sense of dislike for myself.  Hard thing to admit - yes, I do not like myself.  Ouch!  Maybe coming back to my blog will help me return to the place I was (mentally) over a year ago that was full of motivation and drive.  I actually just read a post here, my own words, that said, "Taking action has to come before motivation because motivation really is the power to KEEP going, not the power to GET going!"   Wow!  I need a little more of that attitude right now!  I'm going to do my best to find it and start walking the tightrope again.  After all, it is far more fun to be a part of the circus than it is to sit in the audience.

(Words of encouragement, cheers and applause is welcome.  Heckling not permitted!  Including any negative self-talk.  Violators be warned!)

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