As I mentioned in the post before this one my oldest daughter has become a bit of a handful. She has turned into a super inquisitive kid in the last few weeks and is asking all kinds of questions that very often I'm not prepared for. The biggest of these questions was, "Where did the very first person come from after the dinosaurs died?"
She asked me this about three weeks ago and I didn't answer her right away. I honestly didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't figure out how I was going to explain evolution in a 5 year-old friendly way that wouldn't make her think the monkeys in the zoo were going to lose their hair, start wearing clothes and become her new classmates. Kids her age really don't understand the passage of time and I just didn't know how I was going to explain to her a concept that takes millions and millions of years to occur.
While pondering my dilemma and side stepping her question a bunch of times it occurred to me that if my husband and I were religious questions like this would be easier. Now, I hope no one takes offence to what I'm going to say because it is not my intention to belittle religion or make light of its importance, but I have been wondering in what ways religion might make parenting easier. For example, in this case I could have explained to her that God created Adam, Eve and the Garden of Eden. Since most 5 year-olds are still magical thinkers, can imagine wonderous things, and really do have the ability to be true believers this bible story would answer her question. I know that my daughter would love the story of Eden. She would listen intently and likely the discussion would end as quickly as the question appeared.
While pondering the ways that religion might make parenting easier it also occurred to me that it might make parenting harder. For example, what if my beliefs conflicted with things my children were taught in school? I suppose it would then be my responsibility to carefully explain why I believed something different. I can't even begin to imagine some of the other challenges that might be presented, especially in these times when religion is linked to so much world conflict. With this, I come full circle to where I started. Parenting is hard. Answering our kids questions can be hard too. Doesn't matter the question or our beliefs, giving a satisfying answer can be a challenge in the best situation.
In the end all my worrying and side-stepping was irrelevant. I finally just laid it out there and told her that sometimes with lots of time going by animals slowly changed to become other animals. Then we talked about how monkeys did some things like us and how maybe they changed, and changed until there was the first person. She seemed satisfied and had a few more questions, but all went well. Until I took the fateful step. I said, "But not all people believe the same thing. Some people believe that God made people and everything else on Earth." Oh no! I could see it in her eyes, the wheels in her brain building momentum and...phew. The next question I anticipated didn't come, but I'm still waiting to be asked, "Who is God?" And, I have absolutely no idea how to answer that one! Maybe she will surprise me and ask me another tough one like, "What is a rainbow?", "How does the fridge work?" or "How are babies made?" (Funny thing is I wouldn't put it past her to ask exactly those questions and in exactly that order.)
Going to get out the dictionary and encylopedia now. I'll let you know how it goes...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Words, Words, Everywhere.
I begin many of my days waiting with bated breath. Just waiting. Waiting for the words to spill forward. Waiting with excitement for my baby to speak her first, true and clear word; and, waiting with anxiety for my older daughter's big question of the day.
My 15 month-old is making lots of sounds and "words" that we translate in to some sort of meaning. For example, she says bye-bye, book, bottle, baby, blanket, bottle... Are you noticing a pattern? Yes, she has mastered the 'b' sound and with a little finger pointing can clearly indicate to use which 'b' word item she wants. We manage to communicate quite well with her, especially since her understanding of what we say to her is growing in leaps and bounds. The only time we really have trouble is when she is after something that doesn't start with that beloved 'b' sound, and then it is a chaotic mess of pointing, grunting, leg hugging and guessing until we get it right. So it is with excitement and anticipation that we impatiently wait every day to hear her first word that doesn't require parental translation to adult english. (In other words, we are waiting for her to say something that any adult will clearly understand.)
On the other hand, my almost 5 year-old will speak incessantly, all day long, if allowed and not interrupted. We have advanced past the "Why?" phase and into a whole new level of conversation. Her latest conversation starter is, "I have a REALLLY good question...." The second I hear these words my heart skips a beat and my brain goes into overdrive attempting to guess what topic she is going to tackle next. In the last few weeks I have been asked: how fabric is made, how do clouds make shape art in the sky, why her Grandmother's cat doesn't wear a collar, how is glass made, why do people move, what was the very first animal, and (the grand-daddy of all questions) where did the very first person come from after the dinosaurs died?
Deep breath, what, ask me that again, uh, well-um, let me think for a minute...GULP. I'm glad she is inquisitive, loves to learn and is eager to hear all about the world around her. BUT when it is 5:30 and dinner is burning in the pot, the baby is screaming, TV is blaring and the phone starts ringing I can NOT for the life of me remember how glass is made, where fabric comes from and what the heck is a cloud that makes shape art!?!?!?
One of the many ironies of parenting - we can't wait for our babies to speak, to say Mama/Dada, to verbally show us they know about the world around them. Once they do talk we curse the back-talk, give responses like I don't know, because I said so and ask me again later, and to top it off we ask them to stop talking all of the time. Then when life slows down for a minute and we really take the time to listen to what they are saying we are amazed. Amazed by their magical thinking, by their curiosity and intuitiveness, their ability to see the world in a way we don't. Sure I've laid in the grass and named all the things I could see in the clouds, but never did I consider that my imagination had nothing to do with it and that the clouds were putting on a shape art show purely for my pleasure. Amazing!
Whether it be a first word or what feels like a million words in less than a minute they are all important, valuable and worth listening too. Even when they sneak out of bed at 9:30 to tell you one more "important" thing before they fall asleep. After all if it is important to our kids, isn't it important to us too?
My 15 month-old is making lots of sounds and "words" that we translate in to some sort of meaning. For example, she says bye-bye, book, bottle, baby, blanket, bottle... Are you noticing a pattern? Yes, she has mastered the 'b' sound and with a little finger pointing can clearly indicate to use which 'b' word item she wants. We manage to communicate quite well with her, especially since her understanding of what we say to her is growing in leaps and bounds. The only time we really have trouble is when she is after something that doesn't start with that beloved 'b' sound, and then it is a chaotic mess of pointing, grunting, leg hugging and guessing until we get it right. So it is with excitement and anticipation that we impatiently wait every day to hear her first word that doesn't require parental translation to adult english. (In other words, we are waiting for her to say something that any adult will clearly understand.)
On the other hand, my almost 5 year-old will speak incessantly, all day long, if allowed and not interrupted. We have advanced past the "Why?" phase and into a whole new level of conversation. Her latest conversation starter is, "I have a REALLLY good question...." The second I hear these words my heart skips a beat and my brain goes into overdrive attempting to guess what topic she is going to tackle next. In the last few weeks I have been asked: how fabric is made, how do clouds make shape art in the sky, why her Grandmother's cat doesn't wear a collar, how is glass made, why do people move, what was the very first animal, and (the grand-daddy of all questions) where did the very first person come from after the dinosaurs died?
Deep breath, what, ask me that again, uh, well-um, let me think for a minute...GULP. I'm glad she is inquisitive, loves to learn and is eager to hear all about the world around her. BUT when it is 5:30 and dinner is burning in the pot, the baby is screaming, TV is blaring and the phone starts ringing I can NOT for the life of me remember how glass is made, where fabric comes from and what the heck is a cloud that makes shape art!?!?!?
One of the many ironies of parenting - we can't wait for our babies to speak, to say Mama/Dada, to verbally show us they know about the world around them. Once they do talk we curse the back-talk, give responses like I don't know, because I said so and ask me again later, and to top it off we ask them to stop talking all of the time. Then when life slows down for a minute and we really take the time to listen to what they are saying we are amazed. Amazed by their magical thinking, by their curiosity and intuitiveness, their ability to see the world in a way we don't. Sure I've laid in the grass and named all the things I could see in the clouds, but never did I consider that my imagination had nothing to do with it and that the clouds were putting on a shape art show purely for my pleasure. Amazing!
Whether it be a first word or what feels like a million words in less than a minute they are all important, valuable and worth listening too. Even when they sneak out of bed at 9:30 to tell you one more "important" thing before they fall asleep. After all if it is important to our kids, isn't it important to us too?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Busy being...
...miserable. Had a bit of a grumpy week and stayed away from here in order to save everyone from my down in the dumps attitude. Happy to report that I've made a big decision that hopefully will turn things around. I'm feeling committed to my goals and ready to turn the so-called page, and start working towards the life/lifestyle that I envision for myself. Stay tuned for more details!
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